I think I know where the problem lies.
At first, I thought the unhappiness was purely work-related, i.e. about meeting the demand and expectation of others which might have appeared unreasonable initially.
On further thought, what really disheartened me was the sight of my staff coming back on weekend/public holiday when her husband was still out stationed in Australia and left 2 children with her in-laws to take care. She was fully aware of the demand of things and saw the need to put in additional effort to see through the project.
While I appreciated her effort, what disappointed me was my failure to fight for her to be recognized and duly rewarded. In this aspect, I think I have failed (miserably). I took the stand of looking after the welfare of the division which on hindsight, I do not think that is correct. If given another chance, I will not probably not do the same again.
Am I in the position to rectify the situation? I don't think so. However, I have learnt from this incident and I shall not make the same mistake again.
In any case, I guess I should take it easy on myself. In the meantime, I will provide as much support to my staff as needed and look after their welfare and benefit, for as long as I am around.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Flipping and Tossing
Its been a while since I had such great difficulty falling asleep.
I was very tired but yet my mind just refused to give the body the rest it needed. Even if I closed my eyes, I would wake up soon after that, only to realise that 15 mins had passed. 4 hours was all I could muster and I decided to wake up to do house chores instead.
Not sure how long I can sustain this further.
I need a solution fast.
I was very tired but yet my mind just refused to give the body the rest it needed. Even if I closed my eyes, I would wake up soon after that, only to realise that 15 mins had passed. 4 hours was all I could muster and I decided to wake up to do house chores instead.
Not sure how long I can sustain this further.
I need a solution fast.
Need to dig deeper......
Its getting increasingly difficult.
I simply can't stop thinking about it. Thinking about what happened last week and why they happened. It also made me think about the past 3 years how things have been for me.
I started thinking through some of the decisions I made at work, especially those that appeared unpopular. Should I have accepted the way things were or challenged the traditional beliefs or so-called "best solution based on the circumstances"? Should I have been a bit more selfish? Have I been an effective leader in taking care of the needs and welfare of my staff?
If I could turn back the clock, would I have made the same decisions? Should I adhere to the same set pf principles and ethics that have guided me throughout my life? Or is it time for a change?
So many questions but not a single answer. I wonder if it is right to call time.
I simply can't stop thinking about it. Thinking about what happened last week and why they happened. It also made me think about the past 3 years how things have been for me.
I started thinking through some of the decisions I made at work, especially those that appeared unpopular. Should I have accepted the way things were or challenged the traditional beliefs or so-called "best solution based on the circumstances"? Should I have been a bit more selfish? Have I been an effective leader in taking care of the needs and welfare of my staff?
If I could turn back the clock, would I have made the same decisions? Should I adhere to the same set pf principles and ethics that have guided me throughout my life? Or is it time for a change?
So many questions but not a single answer. I wonder if it is right to call time.
OSCAR
We visited the Fetal Assessment Unit in Thomson Medical Clinic this morning for the One-stop Clinic for Assessment of Risk for Fetal Anomalies (otherwise known as OSCAR), which is a first trimester option offered to all pregnant women as an earlier and more accurate method of screening for risk of fetal anomalies, in particular Down Syndrome (Trisomy 21).
To our relief, the baby is growing well and we managed to get a glimpse of him/her in action once again, moving around actively.
However, the baby was naughty earlier as he/she refused to face the correct direction for the scan, resulting in a delay of an hour or so. However, the doctor told us that we have yet to break the record as there was a couple who waited 7 hrs for the baby to show the correct side for the scan.
Exciting days ahead.
To our relief, the baby is growing well and we managed to get a glimpse of him/her in action once again, moving around actively.
However, the baby was naughty earlier as he/she refused to face the correct direction for the scan, resulting in a delay of an hour or so. However, the doctor told us that we have yet to break the record as there was a couple who waited 7 hrs for the baby to show the correct side for the scan.
Exciting days ahead.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Assembly Line
An assembly line will need to have a supervisor, overseeing the whole operation. The supervisor will make decisions pertaining to any part of the assembly line. You can't expect the team leader/members of each section of the assembly line to communicate with each other to ensure that the operation is smooth.
This is what is happening in my office and its getting increasingly difficult to work in such an environment. The difference in philosophy, working style and approach of the team leaders/members sometimes make working difficult.
This was what happened this morning:
A: When is the datafile ready?
B: I think it will be ready at the end of next week earliest.
A: I thought the file is supposed to be ready in the middle of the week? We are working on a very tight timeline already and you should not be squeezing us further because you were given the file late. This might not have happened if you have chased for the file more aggressively earlier.
B: (Feeling disappointed) Ok, we will give you the file in the middle of the week.
A: Ok, thanks.
On surface, it seems to be the fault of B that the whole thing is delayed. What A noticed was that B did not seem to put in effort to get the file early. However, A is not aware why B reacted this way.
In reality, B was aware of the issue but from his conversation with the supervisor, it seems inevitable that the file will be late and its within expectation. Hence, in order to maintain the cordial relationship between B's unit and the data supplier, B was less aggressive in his approach although he was mindful of the timeline and tactfully pushing for early delivery.
B has since learnt his lesson and should not plan based on the best case scenario. As Murphy's Law states "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong". Always leave buffer and plan for contingency.
B is also grateful for his friend's kind advice: One goes to work to make a living. You are not there to make friends although it will be good to make friends to make work more enjoyable.
This is what is happening in my office and its getting increasingly difficult to work in such an environment. The difference in philosophy, working style and approach of the team leaders/members sometimes make working difficult.
This was what happened this morning:
A: When is the datafile ready?
B: I think it will be ready at the end of next week earliest.
A: I thought the file is supposed to be ready in the middle of the week? We are working on a very tight timeline already and you should not be squeezing us further because you were given the file late. This might not have happened if you have chased for the file more aggressively earlier.
B: (Feeling disappointed) Ok, we will give you the file in the middle of the week.
A: Ok, thanks.
On surface, it seems to be the fault of B that the whole thing is delayed. What A noticed was that B did not seem to put in effort to get the file early. However, A is not aware why B reacted this way.
In reality, B was aware of the issue but from his conversation with the supervisor, it seems inevitable that the file will be late and its within expectation. Hence, in order to maintain the cordial relationship between B's unit and the data supplier, B was less aggressive in his approach although he was mindful of the timeline and tactfully pushing for early delivery.
B has since learnt his lesson and should not plan based on the best case scenario. As Murphy's Law states "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong". Always leave buffer and plan for contingency.
B is also grateful for his friend's kind advice: One goes to work to make a living. You are not there to make friends although it will be good to make friends to make work more enjoyable.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Keys, loan, debts.....
Keys - Its been 3 years 1 month since we paid the downpayment for our flat. If you include the time since we threw in $10 for a chance at our flat, it would have been 3 years and 9 months of waiting already. So near yet so far. Another 15 hours or so and we will be the rightful legal owner of our house. Sound pretty exciting huh?
Loan - About an hour ago, I was still thinking about the loan duration to take for our HDB flat. A colleague came by and shared how CPFB and HDB had made an error in his wife's repayment amount.
His advice: Stretch the loan period to 30 years so that you pay the minimal. In the meantime, let your OA accumulate to the $20,000 cap and earn that 1 additional per cent of interest. Once you hit the ceiling, increase your amount to maintain the OA at $20,000 while shortening the loan to reduce the interest payable. Sound pretty simple huh?
Debts - No matter what, I will be entering the 2nd debt of my loan (the first being the computer loan I took in NTU). This will probably take me a much longer time to repay the amount. I guess that is the life of a typical Singaporean. However, I do not think I will be getting into my 3rd loan any time soon and hope it stay that way as I am not a big fan of borrowing and owing people money.
Loan - About an hour ago, I was still thinking about the loan duration to take for our HDB flat. A colleague came by and shared how CPFB and HDB had made an error in his wife's repayment amount.
His advice: Stretch the loan period to 30 years so that you pay the minimal. In the meantime, let your OA accumulate to the $20,000 cap and earn that 1 additional per cent of interest. Once you hit the ceiling, increase your amount to maintain the OA at $20,000 while shortening the loan to reduce the interest payable. Sound pretty simple huh?
Debts - No matter what, I will be entering the 2nd debt of my loan (the first being the computer loan I took in NTU). This will probably take me a much longer time to repay the amount. I guess that is the life of a typical Singaporean. However, I do not think I will be getting into my 3rd loan any time soon and hope it stay that way as I am not a big fan of borrowing and owing people money.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Cool as a cucumber?
Its the usual year-end peak period for my section now. Its my third year with this section and my involvement with this routine year-end project differ from year to year.
This time round, I was thrust to the forefront of this project. We work like a production line and if I screw up my part, the rest of the team will not be able to proceed. After re-organising my team following some manpower movement, we were all ready to go, or at least I thought.
Now the "raw material" is stucked in transmission and will be delayed by a few days. While I remained cool, my staff was panicking and feeling stressed over it. While its good for them to be proactive and be responsible for their part, there is little I can do if the "raw material" does not arrive on time.
I guess over time, I have learnt to manage what is within my control and stay unflustered in situations like this. If the team leader loses his cool, it will have repercussions on his team members.
Lesson learnt: Stay calm in adversities while do your best to salvage the situation.
This time round, I was thrust to the forefront of this project. We work like a production line and if I screw up my part, the rest of the team will not be able to proceed. After re-organising my team following some manpower movement, we were all ready to go, or at least I thought.
Now the "raw material" is stucked in transmission and will be delayed by a few days. While I remained cool, my staff was panicking and feeling stressed over it. While its good for them to be proactive and be responsible for their part, there is little I can do if the "raw material" does not arrive on time.
I guess over time, I have learnt to manage what is within my control and stay unflustered in situations like this. If the team leader loses his cool, it will have repercussions on his team members.
Lesson learnt: Stay calm in adversities while do your best to salvage the situation.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Positional or Non-Positional Good
Which world will you choose to live in?
World A : Your house is 4,000 sq ft while the other houses in your neighbourhood are 6,000 sq ft.
World B: Your house is 3,000 sq ft while the other houses in your neighbourhood are 2,000 sq ft.
Note: You have only 1 choice and you cannot change anything in your new world.
World A : Your house is 4,000 sq ft while the other houses in your neighbourhood are 6,000 sq ft.
World B: Your house is 3,000 sq ft while the other houses in your neighbourhood are 2,000 sq ft.
Note: You have only 1 choice and you cannot change anything in your new world.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
The Unknown
It takes enormous courage to make decisions, decisions that can possibly change your life.
Venturing into the unknown creates anxiety as we do not know what to expect and you will tend to compare it with what you had previously.
However, if you have not tried, you will never know if the "unknown" is better or worse unless you experienced it yourself.
Like what my friend said, you will never know unless you tried.
I guess its time.
Venturing into the unknown creates anxiety as we do not know what to expect and you will tend to compare it with what you had previously.
However, if you have not tried, you will never know if the "unknown" is better or worse unless you experienced it yourself.
Like what my friend said, you will never know unless you tried.
I guess its time.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Kids are just kids...
Over the past few days, we have been thinking how to break the news to the people around us, family, friends, colleagues & etc.
On Monday, I met my siblings over dinner as it's Gabriel's 2nd Birthday.
As usual, they have started dinner (its 8pm by the time we reached). After Ivy took a seat, Fabian offered her red wine. My instant response was that she can't drink, hoping that they can get the hint. No, they did not. I was thinking that its a wasted chance.
After visiting the washroom, my 2 other sisters joined the table. As gracious hosts, they offered the same thing to Ivy as well. I replied that she can't drink. Charisa, usually the slower of the lot, wondered why she can't drink. Then she asked if Ivy is expecting and finally, the cat is finally out of the bag. They all cheered as its an occasion to be happy about.
What followed next was probably the more interesting part.
After hearing the cheer, my 2 nieces came over and ask their mummy what happened. Jean asked them to guess. Azel was spot-on and her sister tried to refute her by replying that it cannot be. Its probably because yee-yee got a boyfriend already.
Kids are so funny and its akin to having "Kinder Surprise". You will never know what they can bring to you each day. =)
Next up will be my mum which I am totally clueless how to break the news to her.
On Monday, I met my siblings over dinner as it's Gabriel's 2nd Birthday.
As usual, they have started dinner (its 8pm by the time we reached). After Ivy took a seat, Fabian offered her red wine. My instant response was that she can't drink, hoping that they can get the hint. No, they did not. I was thinking that its a wasted chance.
After visiting the washroom, my 2 other sisters joined the table. As gracious hosts, they offered the same thing to Ivy as well. I replied that she can't drink. Charisa, usually the slower of the lot, wondered why she can't drink. Then she asked if Ivy is expecting and finally, the cat is finally out of the bag. They all cheered as its an occasion to be happy about.
What followed next was probably the more interesting part.
After hearing the cheer, my 2 nieces came over and ask their mummy what happened. Jean asked them to guess. Azel was spot-on and her sister tried to refute her by replying that it cannot be. Its probably because yee-yee got a boyfriend already.
Kids are so funny and its akin to having "Kinder Surprise". You will never know what they can bring to you each day. =)
Next up will be my mum which I am totally clueless how to break the news to her.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Can you drive?
Can you drive? This is the question Sandra asked when I offered her a lift to her next destination after a typical day in office which ended at 9pm.
It didn't help since I provided her some after office-hours "entertainment" when I kept referring to the wrong colour tabs in the Excel spreadsheet in our discussion.
Despite the physical deficiency, I still managed to pass the colour test put up by the Traffic Police on numerous occasions (as I need to pass the same test for my motorcycle license as well). If you can pass the test, it should mean that you can see and drive safely right? After all, driving is not all about colours as there are more factors that can affect your judgement and be a road hazard :P
It didn't help since I provided her some after office-hours "entertainment" when I kept referring to the wrong colour tabs in the Excel spreadsheet in our discussion.
Despite the physical deficiency, I still managed to pass the colour test put up by the Traffic Police on numerous occasions (as I need to pass the same test for my motorcycle license as well). If you can pass the test, it should mean that you can see and drive safely right? After all, driving is not all about colours as there are more factors that can affect your judgement and be a road hazard :P
Friday, November 6, 2009
Baby Scan
Pretty exciting to see baby scan photos for the first time. Its 'live', meaning you can actually see the heartbeat.
Not exactly sure what lies ahead but we will need to start prepare ourselves for it.
Not exactly sure what lies ahead but we will need to start prepare ourselves for it.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Tears
Not sure when was the last time I saw my staff cried.
I thought I was the last person to shed tears within my section.
Not sure why. Not sure how to solve it either.
I guess I will let nature takes it course and continue to reflect on it at the same time.
I thought I was the last person to shed tears within my section.
Not sure why. Not sure how to solve it either.
I guess I will let nature takes it course and continue to reflect on it at the same time.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Emotion Roller-Coaster
Been lazy with my updates again.
Still remember my last post when I was lamenting about university graduates not having enough initiative? What I experienced in the last 6 months showed that my observations are not exactly correct as I came across 2 of them who were motivated in their own ways and showed me that things were not as bad as I thought it was.
However, good things don't last I guess.
天下没有不散的筵席。One of them left us just last month. It started me thinking what I really want and how I am going to get them.
I have something in mind but will need lots of discipline plus luck/opportunities to make it come true.
I will work hard on the discipline aspect while seeking the right opportunity. I guess we have to make things happen rather than wait for things to happen, right?
Still remember my last post when I was lamenting about university graduates not having enough initiative? What I experienced in the last 6 months showed that my observations are not exactly correct as I came across 2 of them who were motivated in their own ways and showed me that things were not as bad as I thought it was.
However, good things don't last I guess.
天下没有不散的筵席。One of them left us just last month. It started me thinking what I really want and how I am going to get them.
I have something in mind but will need lots of discipline plus luck/opportunities to make it come true.
I will work hard on the discipline aspect while seeking the right opportunity. I guess we have to make things happen rather than wait for things to happen, right?
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