新好男人

My friend and I were talking about men doing house chores [I am one of them :)] and we were wondering if this has become a pre-requisite for men these days. In the more ancient time, women are (ideally) required to be well-versed in household affairs. In our modern society, women are playing an increasingly important role in the workforce (eg. Ho Ching, Oliver Lum...), men have also been seen picking up the "slack" in performing household chores to maintain the "eco-balance".

At a recent christmas gathering with the boys from my secondary school, the boys were busy at the BBQ pit while the partners were sitting down to chat (and wait for the food). While cooking, we started asking each other who is in charge of washing the toilets in the house. Interestingly, 4 out of 5 said that the husband or husband-to-be will be in-charge.

Its interesting to see how time have changed and the "roles" of men and women have evolved.

Women have become "进得了厨房，出得了厅堂" while men have also embraced the title of "新好男人" by helping out in the house chores and caring for the kids.

Give it another 20 more years and let's see what it will become. Will it be the case whereby more men are house-husband (企鸸爸爸)while women will be in-charge of bringing home the bacon?

Make it Work!

Make it Work - This is the new catch-phrase that I am hooked on today.

This is also the 祝语 I used for a colleague's wedding today.

You should never underestimate the importance of this phrase as failure to adhere to this principle may result in failure in the task you are working on?

Sound cheem? It is not. Make some effort to understand it. Make it work.

Queuing for Free Newspapers

The liberalization of the print media industry brought about (free) newspaper where the companies recover the cost solely from advertising revenue.

Currently, there are 2 main newspapers that comes without a cost these days, i.e. TODAY and MyPaper. Typically, they are made available near MRT stations so that those in the morning rush hours can pick a copy and read them on the train on the way to work.

The papers will be distributed at approximately 730am each morning. I spotted something interesting last week when I was trying my best to reach office earlier than usual. At around 720am, although the distributor (of the newspaper) is ready with the stack of newspaper behind them, she just stood there and waited with the queue forming up before her.

I can't find the reason why don't she start distributing them since everything is ready? Is there a prescribed time for her to start distributing? If it was me, I would rather start distributing so long everything is ready and go home early after that.

Reflections

I just came back from Irma's wedding dinner a while ago. Her wedding dinner showed us that wedding is an event about the groom and bride, not so much for the family although it is often the case these days. The way the wedding was carried out, the choice of food and colour scheme (black) reminded me of what I wanted to do for my own wedding but gave in due to numerous considerations and constraints.

Most importantly for me however was the speech that Irma and Jason (her husband) made. It touched me. It reminded me of my own wedding dinner a year ago whereby I made a promise to 400 over guests that I will take good care of my wife.

However, stress & emotion seem to have gotten the better of me recently that I nearly forgot the promise I had made. Suddenly I was so ashamed of my behaviour. When I reached home, the first thing I wanted to do was to give her a hug and say sorry. Although she does not know what happened, I think its enough. Enough for me to repent and reflect through how we got together and why we went onto this path together.

I guess one would only cherish the things they took for granted when on the verge of losing them. This is human nature. It is sad but it is true.

The Power of Escalation

Quite a number of things to blog this week. Will start with this interesting observation.

As reported in the newspapers, the whole government sector is moving towards a new and common IT platform after having awarded a $1.3bil project to OneMeridian, project codename "SOEasy". Well, it is not exactly easy in our opinion with numerous issue hitting each member of the section who migrated to the new platform. Apparently, ZDNetAsia did point out that it is not going to be an easy project (http://www.zdnetasia.com/news/business/0,39044229,62041019,00.htm).

Ok, I am digressing (again).

Due to different officers using different email platform to send email, there appeared to be some email address/directory issue, resulting in new user of MS Outlook not being able to send email to a particular officer who is still using Lotus Notes. This resulted in significant inconvenience experienced at work. When enough is enough, I sent an email to the head of the team, hoping to seek some resolution. I also kept my bosses in the cc loop (not my style actually).

The following is interesting:
1) Within an hour, we have a technician down to try to troubleshoot the issue.
2) edm forwarded to the MCIO in charge, asking them for a possible solution given the importance of email communication to us.
3) ec also forwarded to the MCIO in charge, asking them to look into it. Well he cc Mrs L (a more senior officer) in the process.

A flurry of emails followed after that, ending with my staff getting her new PC today (as reported). This was unknown to us as I have asked my staff when she will be getting hers. Her reply was that she don't know and it should be later in Jan which prompted me to write that email.

The issue is the same but when surfaced by different people, it drew different responses from different people.

This is the power of escalation. Valuable lesson learnt indeed.

(Afternote: By 2pm today, my staff got a replacement computer and email is back at work. Oh well..... )

Christmas Shopping

I took 1/2 day leave today to complete my christmas shopping. It is tedious to find something meaningful, purposeful and most importantly, able to bring a smile to the person's face when he/she received the gift.

So near yet so far; when I was left with the only present to search for, it turned out to be the toughest of all. The recipient of this gift is an unassuming person, who probably cares for the environment and does not snack. In any case, I never like to buy food as a gift unless forced to.

I walked from Takashimaya to Orchard Ion and back to Takashimaya again before settling for something.

Orchard Ion is huge and pretty grand. However, I did not have a good impression of the toilet. While the material they used looks good and posh, the toilet cleaner who was around did not ensure that there is sufficient toilet paper in the washroom. He was simply busy with maintaining the basin and mirror.

Perhaps I was expecting slightly too much =P.

船到桥头自然直

近几个星期过得真不容易。

心情的起起落落，没几个人能够了解。

我很庆幸得到朋友的协助与开导，没有他们的话，我深信这几个星期会更难过。
（你们知道你是谁，真的谢谢你们了。）

Blogging is truly therapeutic as I was told. It is a venue to express your thoughts although I agree with her that some Singaporeans tend to use it as a venue to complain. So typical right. When I started my blog, it was not meant for this purpose although I kind of abused it in recent weeks/months.

When one is emotionally unstable, he/she tends to make irrational decision. I nearly made a bad mistake in such situation, forgetting the big picture and other equally (if not more) important item.

要是有病，一定要根治，不然可能会有病发症。 可是病还是让它自然痊愈比较好，不然可能会有副作用。

有时候也可以尝试吃止痛药，让身体的抗体慢慢把病毒击跨。

嗨，船到桥头自然直，不直就把它撞直吧。

灰

累，我累了。
怕，我害怕这一天的到来。
厌倦，我开始厌倦这样的生活。
担心，我担心自己是否已走到了尽头。

这种两个陌生人共处一室的身活，我不知还能挨多久。
这已经是第四天了。她仍然不肯说话。
我已经不知所挫，不知下一步该怎么走。
等，是我唯一可做的事。
可是我这一等，会等花开结果吗？

我是否还可以继续笑脸迎人来面对其他人？我还能维持多久？

或许梁静茹是对的，爱真的需要勇气。

梁静茹《勇气》
==============

终于做了这个决定
别人怎么说我不理
只要你也一样的肯定
我愿意天涯海角都随你去
我知道一切不容易
我的心一直温习说服自己
最怕你忽然说要放弃

爱真的需要勇气
来面对流言蜚语
只要你一个眼神肯定
我的爱就有意义
我们都需要勇气
去相信会在一起
人潮拥挤我能感觉你
放在我手心里 你的真心

如果我的坚强任性
会不小心伤害了你
你能不能温柔提醒
我虽然心太急
更害怕错过你

爱真的需要勇气
来面对流言蜚语
只要你一个眼神肯定
我的爱就有意义
我们都需要勇气
去相信会在一起
人潮拥挤我能感觉你
放在我手心里 你的真心

iPhone Bandwagon

The wait is finally over for M1 and Starhub subscribers as they have launched the sale of iPhone in Singapore, breaking the monopoly once held by Singtel.

This has brought about a drop in the price of data plans as M1 and Starhub tried to gain as much market share as possible. The reaction of the competition was interesting to view from the sideline (with popcorn and coke).

Starhub was the first to announce their price plan last week. On the same day, M1 announced their price plan in the afternoon. On seeing M1’s impressive data bundle package, Starhub increased its 3G SmartSurf plans’ data bundle from 1 GB to 12 GB. The next day, Singtel adjusted its data bundle to be comparable with M1 and Starhub. At steady state, M1 made another refinement to their data bundle.

In a quick glance, all 3 competitors have broadly similar price plans (pl do the comparison yourself to see the difference) which was fair more attractive than what Singtel started a year ago.

This has also led to many iPhone wannabes to hop onto the bandwagon. 2 days ago, I also saw one of my colleague joining the bandwagon although she thinks iPhone does not like her as she had problem using it.

I had considered joining the bandwagon too but with so many people on board already, do I really want to hold a phone that is the same as others? The telcos have responded, its about time the phone manufacturers respond to the competition brought about by iPhone.

I will be waiting at the sidelines, hoping to benefit from it. =)

Invisible?

Today, my division welcomed 2 'new' officers. Why the word "new" comes with inverted commas is because these 2 officers are not exactly new, one of them transferred from another research and statistics unit while the other joined us on secondment to help out with the Census Project.

As part of the newcomers' "ritual", they will be brought around the office to tell existing officers that these are the new kids on the block. Today was no exception.

However, as the HR officer approached my cubicle with the 2 new officers, I heard her saying "Tze Chow is not around today, we will go to the next cubicle instead.". I was astonished when I heard that. What makes you think I am not in office today?

This is not the first time anyway. In the past when I enjoyed the luxury of a office (with no windows though), the HR officer always missed my room as well. Reason being that the room used to be a library and along the same alley, there were no officers around the area.

Perhaps this is a gentle reminder that I am not longer considered part of the office and its time to go. =)

Communication

According to the Marriam-Webster Dictionary, communication can be defined as one of the following:
1 an act or instance of transmitting
2 a: information communicated b : a verbal or written message
3 a: a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior (the function of pheromones in insect communication); also : exchange of information b : personal rapport (a lack of communication between old and young persons)

If you have been following my earlier post, you would have noticed that I seem to have been plagued with the communication virus, resulting in me not being able to communicate with some key people in my personal and working life.

Since they did not specify, will it be considered too much to make them communicate in a manner I will prefer then?

Not sure how to get things moving forward since they all did not tell me what is the best platform/manner to communicate in.

If you have any suggestion, feel free to let me know.

I am at all ears since communication is a 2-way interactive process.

Interesting day in Office

T: Are you ok? Your eyes look wet.

S: I am ok.

T: All right (He looked down at the paper and starting "sobbing", trying to imitate S).

Suddenly, T felt that someone had slapped his right arm. He looked up in shock, only to see S in shock too. lol.

T is ok to let S slap him, if it makes her feel better. He won't take offence of such things.

In return, S said that T can slap her if he is in a bad mood. However, S also said that "Please don't hit my face."

Toughest Week Ever...

Its been a long and tough week, one of the toughest in fact.

Never had I gone through so much emotional struggle and thought in such a short span of time. When one is unable to think through clearly, he will make strange decisions and behave irrationally. I think this was what happened to me in the past week.

For a while, it seems that everyone is at fault except myself. In fact, it all boils down to communication.

There is a saying: ASSUME = Making an ASS out of U and ME. This is totally true. If one has communicated what he meant to another person, the other person need not guess and assume and create all the "misunderstanding".

Through this episode, I also saw how difficult was it to build trust and relationship and how easy was it to destroy it over one incident. Will I be able to rebuild the whole thing all over again? Will the crack be mended forever?

Only time will tell.

Root of the Problem

I think I know where the problem lies.

At first, I thought the unhappiness was purely work-related, i.e. about meeting the demand and expectation of others which might have appeared unreasonable initially.

On further thought, what really disheartened me was the sight of my staff coming back on weekend/public holiday when her husband was still out stationed in Australia and left 2 children with her in-laws to take care. She was fully aware of the demand of things and saw the need to put in additional effort to see through the project.

While I appreciated her effort, what disappointed me was my failure to fight for her to be recognized and duly rewarded. In this aspect, I think I have failed (miserably). I took the stand of looking after the welfare of the division which on hindsight, I do not think that is correct. If given another chance, I will not probably not do the same again.

Am I in the position to rectify the situation? I don't think so. However, I have learnt from this incident and I shall not make the same mistake again.

In any case, I guess I should take it easy on myself. In the meantime, I will provide as much support to my staff as needed and look after their welfare and benefit, for as long as I am around.

Flipping and Tossing

Its been a while since I had such great difficulty falling asleep.

I was very tired but yet my mind just refused to give the body the rest it needed. Even if I closed my eyes, I would wake up soon after that, only to realise that 15 mins had passed. 4 hours was all I could muster and I decided to wake up to do house chores instead.

Not sure how long I can sustain this further.

I need a solution fast.

Need to dig deeper......

Its getting increasingly difficult.

I simply can't stop thinking about it. Thinking about what happened last week and why they happened. It also made me think about the past 3 years how things have been for me.

I started thinking through some of the decisions I made at work, especially those that appeared unpopular. Should I have accepted the way things were or challenged the traditional beliefs or so-called "best solution based on the circumstances"? Should I have been a bit more selfish? Have I been an effective leader in taking care of the needs and welfare of my staff?

If I could turn back the clock, would I have made the same decisions? Should I adhere to the same set pf principles and ethics that have guided me throughout my life? Or is it time for a change?

So many questions but not a single answer. I wonder if it is right to call time.

OSCAR

We visited the Fetal Assessment Unit in Thomson Medical Clinic this morning for the One-stop Clinic for Assessment of Risk for Fetal Anomalies (otherwise known as OSCAR), which is a first trimester option offered to all pregnant women as an earlier and more accurate method of screening for risk of fetal anomalies, in particular Down Syndrome (Trisomy 21).

To our relief, the baby is growing well and we managed to get a glimpse of him/her in action once again, moving around actively.

However, the baby was naughty earlier as he/she refused to face the correct direction for the scan, resulting in a delay of an hour or so. However, the doctor told us that we have yet to break the record as there was a couple who waited 7 hrs for the baby to show the correct side for the scan.

Exciting days ahead.

Assembly Line

An assembly line will need to have a supervisor, overseeing the whole operation. The supervisor will make decisions pertaining to any part of the assembly line. You can't expect the team leader/members of each section of the assembly line to communicate with each other to ensure that the operation is smooth.

This is what is happening in my office and its getting increasingly difficult to work in such an environment. The difference in philosophy, working style and approach of the team leaders/members sometimes make working difficult.

This was what happened this morning:
A: When is the datafile ready?
B: I think it will be ready at the end of next week earliest.

A: I thought the file is supposed to be ready in the middle of the week? We are working on a very tight timeline already and you should not be squeezing us further because you were given the file late. This might not have happened if you have chased for the file more aggressively earlier.
B: (Feeling disappointed) Ok, we will give you the file in the middle of the week.

A: Ok, thanks.

On surface, it seems to be the fault of B that the whole thing is delayed. What A noticed was that B did not seem to put in effort to get the file early. However, A is not aware why B reacted this way.

In reality, B was aware of the issue but from his conversation with the supervisor, it seems inevitable that the file will be late and its within expectation. Hence, in order to maintain the cordial relationship between B's unit and the data supplier, B was less aggressive in his approach although he was mindful of the timeline and tactfully pushing for early delivery.

B has since learnt his lesson and should not plan based on the best case scenario. As Murphy's Law states "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong". Always leave buffer and plan for contingency.

B is also grateful for his friend's kind advice: One goes to work to make a living. You are not there to make friends although it will be good to make friends to make work more enjoyable.

Keys, loan, debts.....

Keys - Its been 3 years 1 month since we paid the downpayment for our flat. If you include the time since we threw in $10 for a chance at our flat, it would have been 3 years and 9 months of waiting already. So near yet so far. Another 15 hours or so and we will be the rightful legal owner of our house. Sound pretty exciting huh?

Loan - About an hour ago, I was still thinking about the loan duration to take for our HDB flat. A colleague came by and shared how CPFB and HDB had made an error in his wife's repayment amount.

His advice: Stretch the loan period to 30 years so that you pay the minimal. In the meantime, let your OA accumulate to the $20,000 cap and earn that 1 additional per cent of interest. Once you hit the ceiling, increase your amount to maintain the OA at $20,000 while shortening the loan to reduce the interest payable. Sound pretty simple huh?

Debts - No matter what, I will be entering the 2nd debt of my loan (the first being the computer loan I took in NTU). This will probably take me a much longer time to repay the amount. I guess that is the life of a typical Singaporean. However, I do not think I will be getting into my 3rd loan any time soon and hope it stay that way as I am not a big fan of borrowing and owing people money.

Cool as a cucumber?

Its the usual year-end peak period for my section now. Its my third year with this section and my involvement with this routine year-end project differ from year to year.

This time round, I was thrust to the forefront of this project. We work like a production line and if I screw up my part, the rest of the team will not be able to proceed. After re-organising my team following some manpower movement, we were all ready to go, or at least I thought.

Now the "raw material" is stucked in transmission and will be delayed by a few days. While I remained cool, my staff was panicking and feeling stressed over it. While its good for them to be proactive and be responsible for their part, there is little I can do if the "raw material" does not arrive on time.

I guess over time, I have learnt to manage what is within my control and stay unflustered in situations like this. If the team leader loses his cool, it will have repercussions on his team members.

Lesson learnt: Stay calm in adversities while do your best to salvage the situation.

Positional or Non-Positional Good

Which world will you choose to live in?

World A : Your house is 4,000 sq ft while the other houses in your neighbourhood are 6,000 sq ft.

World B: Your house is 3,000 sq ft while the other houses in your neighbourhood are 2,000 sq ft.

Note: You have only 1 choice and you cannot change anything in your new world.

The Unknown

It takes enormous courage to make decisions, decisions that can possibly change your life.

Venturing into the unknown creates anxiety as we do not know what to expect and you will tend to compare it with what you had previously.

However, if you have not tried, you will never know if the "unknown" is better or worse unless you experienced it yourself.

Like what my friend said, you will never know unless you tried.

I guess its time.

Kids are just kids...

Over the past few days, we have been thinking how to break the news to the people around us, family, friends, colleagues & etc.

On Monday, I met my siblings over dinner as it's Gabriel's 2nd Birthday.

As usual, they have started dinner (its 8pm by the time we reached). After Ivy took a seat, Fabian offered her red wine. My instant response was that she can't drink, hoping that they can get the hint. No, they did not. I was thinking that its a wasted chance.

After visiting the washroom, my 2 other sisters joined the table. As gracious hosts, they offered the same thing to Ivy as well. I replied that she can't drink. Charisa, usually the slower of the lot, wondered why she can't drink. Then she asked if Ivy is expecting and finally, the cat is finally out of the bag. They all cheered as its an occasion to be happy about.

What followed next was probably the more interesting part.

After hearing the cheer, my 2 nieces came over and ask their mummy what happened. Jean asked them to guess. Azel was spot-on and her sister tried to refute her by replying that it cannot be. Its probably because yee-yee got a boyfriend already.

Kids are so funny and its akin to having "Kinder Surprise". You will never know what they can bring to you each day. =)

Next up will be my mum which I am totally clueless how to break the news to her.

Can you drive?

Can you drive? This is the question Sandra asked when I offered her a lift to her next destination after a typical day in office which ended at 9pm.

It didn't help since I provided her some after office-hours "entertainment" when I kept referring to the wrong colour tabs in the Excel spreadsheet in our discussion.

Despite the physical deficiency, I still managed to pass the colour test put up by the Traffic Police on numerous occasions (as I need to pass the same test for my motorcycle license as well). If you can pass the test, it should mean that you can see and drive safely right? After all, driving is not all about colours as there are more factors that can affect your judgement and be a road hazard :P

Baby Scan

Pretty exciting to see baby scan photos for the first time. Its 'live', meaning you can actually see the heartbeat.


Not exactly sure what lies ahead but we will need to start prepare ourselves for it.

Tears

Not sure when was the last time I saw my staff cried.

I thought I was the last person to shed tears within my section.

Not sure why. Not sure how to solve it either.

I guess I will let nature takes it course and continue to reflect on it at the same time.

Emotion Roller-Coaster

Been lazy with my updates again.

Still remember my last post when I was lamenting about university graduates not having enough initiative? What I experienced in the last 6 months showed that my observations are not exactly correct as I came across 2 of them who were motivated in their own ways and showed me that things were not as bad as I thought it was.

However, good things don't last I guess.

天下没有不散的筵席。One of them left us just last month. It started me thinking what I really want and how I am going to get them.

I have something in mind but will need lots of discipline plus luck/opportunities to make it come true.

I will work hard on the discipline aspect while seeking the right opportunity. I guess we have to make things happen rather than wait for things to happen, right?

March on.....

Its been a while since I last blogged. Lack of energy perhaps.

Today I am feeling down, pretty down in fact.

Getting real tired, need to find new motivation in any form, to push on or to march on.

Kinda lost my cool, feeling really frustrated all of a sudden. I seems to be bored down by work, not because of the load but more of the strain.

Sounds cheem?

Indeed, its not so much the rush to finish up the work to meet the demands of policyholders but its the effort needed to make new headways, plus the nitty-gritty of things that I need to micro-manage which is not supposed to be the case.

Aren't graduates supposed to be highly motivated and intellectual, at least perceived to be? Is the main churning by the Singapore Education System diluting the quality?

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps....

Lunch 9 Jan 09

I went for lunch at a coffee-shop nearby with 3 other colleagues. We sat on a table for 6. An elderly man asked if the remaining 2 seats are taken. We said no and he can have the seat. Afterwhich, he sat down and waited for his friend.

Another group of working class came to occupy the table next to us. As they were lacking 1 chair, one of the group member asked me:

Person A: Is this seat taken?

Me: Yes.

Person A tried to pull the chair towards their table. I stopped her and tell her that the seat is taken and she cant take it.

I wondered if she understand what she was asking. Another reason could be that she is too hungry. :P